Non-Negotiables of Raising Teens

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives.

Again allow me to start by saying; “the only way to provide successful instruction and meaningful discipline is to have open communication with your teen.”

I was given some good advice as my girls were growing up. “Allow your children to make as many decisions as possible with minimal input from you.” This will build character and confidence in your child’s life. However, there are some decisions you will make that are not up for debate or question.

Here are a few things I consider Non-Negotiables:

• Church attendance is not optional: I don’t mean you take your teen to church, this means you go as a family.

When we first moved to Shreveport our youth group was rather small, as a result Heidi went through some struggles. The norm for her was 50-60 youth with live worship, multi media, full- time Youth Pastor. I researched some other AG youth groups in the area that she could attend on occasion and get involved with. Her spiritual well being was more important than my ego. If that meant we had to adjust for this dynamic in her life so be it. If you make this decision it is important that your teen stay connected to the youth in your church and the group they get involved with have the same doctrinal stand as you. This can be a tough balance but it can be done with great success. A good Youth Ministry can be a life line for your teen.

• Family Time: You create it, everyone participates. Sounds simple but is sometimes quite difficult. However, it is vital to your relationship with your teen.
• Respect: There is no quicker way to create a disrespectful teenager than to allow disrespect in the home.
• Honesty: Tough area but critical. Open dialog will help, but your teen will still struggle in this area when they have broken the rules. Stay with it, lying is not only sin it also erodes trust.
• Safety Issues: Physical safety issues are sometimes easier to deal with than spiritual. Last week I talked about respecting your’ teenagers space. However, you must be willing to monitor many activities that your teen is involved with. Movies, music, the internet, to name a few (view their my-space with them; ask questions it’s your right and responsibility as a parent.) Typically if they are keeping it pure they will not be bothered by your viewing it.

Good adults are created through proper training and discipline from loving parents. But remember, not every hill is worthy of a fight. (Author Unknown)

(Some content and ideas taken from LifeWay Christian parenting magazine October 2007)

Pastor Ray