"Fair But Firm..."

Proverbs 22:6 Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it. (NLT)

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives.

Contrary to what some may believe teenagers not only need, but also desire a set of guidelines from parents.

My discipline philosophy is “fair but firm”. Not every situation calls for the same disciplinary action. Just remember while time out may work for a three year old, it will not work for a teenager. If you learn to understand how your teen thinks, it will help you to understand the most effective way to discipline.

While it is important to discipline at the moment of the behavior with a child, that is not necessarily the case with a teenager. It may be that you and your spouse need time to sit down privately and discuss the circumstances surrounding the issue. Then sit down with your teen and spell out or perhaps even write out the guidelines and the consequence for breaking the rule again.

In open dialog with your teen regarding the disciplinary action, ask your teen if they feel you are being fair, or what part of the disciplinary action is unfair or unrealistic (expect anything). If there are some areas you can adjust fine, if not, explain your reasoning for the firmness of your discipline. Perhaps you can talk to them about concessions in the foreseeable future if the guidelines you set are strictly adhered to.

Learn to be responsive rather than reactive…It will make your life more pleasant and lower your blood pressure! (Rayology 101)

Pastor Ray