Negotiables of Raising Teens

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives.

I realize the subject matter I will discuss today is not only a hot button for many parents of teens but also for your teenager. I also know that you may not agree with my suggestions or even consider them, just remember they are merely suggestions.

Allow me to reiterate the thought from last week; “the only way to provide successful instruction and meaningful discipline is to have open communication with your teen.”

Raising children is the most rewarding and most challenging job you will ever face. Having a good grasp of what you feel is negotiable and what is non-negotiable will minimize stress and frustration with both your teen and your spouse.

First are things that can be negotiated:

• Clothes—I am not suggesting, anything goes method, (sexually suggestive, issues of vulgarity would suggest concern) what I am saying is that style is probably not a mountain worth dying for. (Remember style may/probably will change in two weeks)

• Music—I suggest you be more concerned with content than with style. In fact there is a great deal of good Christian alternative music for your teen. Be willing to research it with an open mind and offer it to your teenager.

• Friends—The truth is you have less control over this area than you think. However, the more you know the better you will be. Encourage them to hang out at your house rather than places you feel uncomfortable with. Make every effort to meet their friend’s parents.
  

• Bedroom—Teens need a place were they can have privacy but not seclusion. (My idea is that this area should also be kept clean, but that’s just my idea). Respect their space as much as possible while still parenting.

• Relationships—I can only speak to raising teenage girls regarding relationships. While some conclude that dating for teens is out of the question that is not the view I hold. You as a parent have the opportunity to teach your child how to properly handle relationships in this venue. (I believe it is called parenting where you set the guidelines and they learn to respect them.) You can read my blog “Sweet Sixteen” to see what I have done with both my girls.

It is very likely you can add to this list. However, if you can effectively accomplish these tasks other issues will be handled with ease.

Next, Non—Negotiables…

Pastor Ray

(Some content and ideas taken from LifeWay Christian parenting magazine October 2007)